We entered the ice cold room and the smell of formaldehyde was pretty strong. The bodies were not suspended in formaldehyde, I had expected something like that. All of them were covered with a white cloth. The lab manager said a prayer again and lifted the cover off. It was not scary to me, the dead man was chemically processed, dissected to show a certain parts of the body.  They were placed on some special beds, just like normal people, except they were quite processed.They were dissected to show certain system like the circulation, digestion or the organs.

For the first time in my life, I actually held a heart and brain. The brain definitely was one of the interesting things. Until this lab, I had always imagined the veins and the arteries to be very thin, small, closer to invisible tubes. I think I mixed it up with the nerves. I was surprised to see the veins and the arteries were quite big, a fully capable plumbing system. The nails were pretty long for most of the bodies.

It was interesting to see the different joints up close. The pelvis, the knee joint, the ankles, the shoulder joints. The spinal structure was quite spectacular as well. As there was no blood involved, none of it looked scary. My classmate kept telling me that the flesh looks like chicken’s. We were not supposed to say anything weird, but I agreed with him. It did look like chicken flesh in a bigger scale.

It was indeed a great anatomy class. We checked out all the muscles that we hear so much in western yoga. The  hamstrings, semitendonosis, biceps femoris, psoas and others. There must have been ten bodies that day, all dissected in different ways. Even though I was wearing gloves, the smell of formaldehyde stayed on for days after that. I also felt like there must have been some small tiny bits from the cadavers that somehow left with me. May be it was just psychological, but I did thank all of them for allowing me to see them up close.

This clip is only for the brave.

I am writing this as I read about this guru called Nithyananda. Normally I do not like to write about such people, they do not deserve my time and space on this blog. This guy has this ashram just outside of my home town, Bangalore. I heard about this guy the entire time I was in India last year. The youngest swami in India. One of the yogis that I had met was a follower of this man. She would meditate on this man and she had told me so much about him. I kept thinking to myself, what would happen if this guru is a fake. It would be such a waste of time and energy. I simply don’t trust anyone who lives in an ashram and claims he is a guru. True to that thought, I read there is so much confusion caused by this man.

I like teaching Yoga. It gives me a completely different aspect or angle of yoga. Sometimes I refer to my notes as to how I can explain something in the most minimum of words. When I taught my first class, I was using a few sentences to which my student was not responding. I mean, I know this asana so well, but how do I convey it to the other person who is relying just on my words. I try to demonstrate and then all goes well. But that is incorrect, a few glitches of being a first time instructor. I have improved it since then and I also remembered one of my teachers say that the yoga instructor should be able to convey every single move just by dialog. When I practice on my own, I do not need to work on how I should convey this. Teaching classes add this layer to my practice which I enjoy. I also notice that trying to come up with a class structure keeps my home practice interesting. I refer back to my notes and there is so much out there which I sort of forget to practice in my self practice. Or a pranayama technique which I have not practiced in ages. All in all, teaching yoga improves my home practice.

I think this is why I want to teach, to constantly be in touch with yoga. At the same time, I do not want to teach yoga full time either. I might get bored of correcting a student’s trikonasana for the 100th time. I am not sure if it will get repetitive. And, I don’t want to have a yoga burn out. So, teaching a few classes per week suits me fine.

Yoga Tree, Teacher Traing San Francisco  – 2,500 USD
Sivananda, Teacher Training, Kerala   -   260 USD (Indian rate)
Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram, Chennai   – 1,200 USD
Accommodation in Chennai                                     -   300 USD (Indian rate converted to USD)
Teaching Insurance Canada, for 1 year              -     250 USD (CDN and USD not very different)

Total                                                                 4,510 USD

Okay, it is going to take me a long time to break even with the costs of teacher training.  I wonder how new yoga teachers can pay their rent and the basics if teaching yoga is their full time job. Oh, may be that is why a lot of yoga teachers are waiting tables. Sad.

This happened 10 months ago. Sivananda ashram in Kerala is notorious for its factory style boot camp yoga teacher training classes, it is absolutely ridiculous. I have been practicing yoga for many years now that I know what I can do or cannot do. I usually will not push myself to get into any contortion my body is not ready to do. But in this class I did not even realize when I was getting hurt. The teacher is simply yelling into the mike to go into the poses deeper and deeper. The blocks are only in the mind and not in the body. All I remember is after the session I limped back and cannot remember walking correctly ever again or sit without pain even in a simple sukhasana.

The next day I spoke to the teacher about it and he tells me these injuries are mostly in the mind. Huh! I did not know that a block in my mind can hurt my knee so bad. I thought what a ridiculous explanation for my injury. I left the ashram after that and will not step back into it. This is not my first injury in all the years of my yoga practice. I have been injured before and I know injuries are great teachers to stop and make you think. It never made me question my choice of teachers or the course. I was the one always at fault. But not this injury. This should not have happened. Anyway, I have to deal with my knee injury and the wrong yoga choices I had made. Sivananda ashram is probably the only event in my life that I regret getting myself into.

I have complete faith in Yoga that it can heal my knee back. If I do the right kind of Yoga, as in KYM style of therapy yoga or at least mindful yoga. I do like this Indian saying a lot- do not give a garland to a monkey.

I was always aware that this word has been misused. Then it slowly dawns on me that another important word in Yoga has also been redefined. Either by PJ himself or his followers. I keep hearing conversations like, “I practice hatha yoga, not astanga” or the other way around. I ask the ayogis what is the difference. They tell me astanga is where one moves from one asana to the other with a vinyasa thrown in. Hatha is where one stays in a pose longer. Ok, Patanjali would be quite unhappy to hear the ayogis speak like this. Any physical yoga practice is hatha yoga, as far as I know. Flow, astanga, power, bikram, sivananda, Krishnamacharya KYM style, you name it. All of them are hatha yoga. So, astanga is nothing but a “style” of hatha yoga.

Then the next word incorrectly used is Vinyasa. The word Vinyasa according to Sri Krishnamacharya is coordinating movements with proper breathing and the sequencing of the asanas in an intelligent way with a purpose. Each of the important asana is practiced with vinyasas meaning variations and movements.

According to this definition by Sri K, astanga does contain the vinyasa for important poses like pascimottanasana, janu sirsasana, marichyasana and so on. Of course, it is completely based off of Sri K’s sequences. But, PJ has come up with a new definition.  The actual Vinyasa is called just an asana and the jump thru has been named the Vinyasa. I really have to wonder why.

Vinyasa according to PJ is the part surya namaskar A or the jump thru (chaturanga, upward dog, downward dog and jump thru) performed between each asana. He could have easily come up with new names for all this and not confuse with the classic definitions. For example, chaturangi-jump-like-a-proud-peacock for his vinyasa or chaturangi-fly-like-a-feather.

I am so not happy with PJ for getting three important words or concepts completely wrong. I know most people don’t care about such things, but I do.

I like this approach of teaching, for one can practice on their own and not depend way too much on a group class with special music, fancy yoga outfits and lots of sweet talk. I have never needed music to do yoga or the chakra quack talk ever. So, this style works for me. What is most interesting is that it gives a chance for everyone to breathe the way they want to and however long their breathing patterns are. I notice that in other styles like flow etc, the breathing pattern of an individual is never respected. The sun salutations are so quick and never really coordinated with the long inhales and exhales. In astanga, there is so much freedom to breathe correctly and is a huge plus.

There is quite a bit of importance placed on Padmasana. There are quite a few forward bends, done in the ardha baddha padmasana. It is just a matter of time, before the full padmasana becomes doable.

Although I prefer the vinyasa style of yoga, astanga is interesting too with its standard set of asanas. You do the same thing over and over. One advantage I see is that one can observe the evolution in the asana. The sequencing seems a bit off with forward bends before the backbends. The counterposes ahead of the actual poses. The shoulderstand is performed way before the headstand. In KYM vinyasa, shoulderstand is a counterpose for headstand. So, I don’t understand how Pattabhi Jois came up with this, having learnt from Sri Krishnamacharya.

Astanga is more militant and violent. Lots of jump thru’s and chaturangas. The breathing is so loud, one can generate electricity out of this class and power the entire town of Mysore. I always thought ujjai breath need not be loud. It should be heard only by the person breathing and not perform it for the entire class to hear. Astanga class is all about performance.

Even the adjustments are pretty violent and deep. May be it is a good thing, I am not sure as of now. Time will tell, if such aggressive corrections are good for the body. I notice that the students are addicted to the adjustments. If not for the adjustments, the students might as well practice it on their own. Everybody I speak with in the class talks about the adjustments of the teacher. This is what they come to the class for.

My teacher is Mr.Sheshadri, a small muscular man. Thanks to Steven, for letting me know about him. Mr.Sheshadri can give dramatic adjustments to all the students, even to the big European and American guys, even though he is much smaller compared to the big guys in class. There is a lot of choice for yoga classes in Mysore, most of them compete with one another in how tough they are.

All in all, I am happy to be in a Mysore class in Mysore.

I remember attending a class lecture on Ahimsa.The class started with the definition that ahimsa means non-violence. That was fine. Then it quickly degenerated into being vegetarian and vegan is what is ahimsa. My fellow classmates wondered how are we supposed to get the protein. The teacher had all the answers ready. For the magic is available in soy. Tofu is the one stop solution. One can eat tofu in myriad forms, from morning through night. Raw, baked, grilled, stir fried, deep fried, steamed, in fruit shakes and so on. Of course, the soy milk is yet another magic drink that can solve all calcium deficiencies. For better health maintenance, we were given the address of a specific shop whose owner can give us fabulous advice on the exact vitamins the students needed. If we mentioned the yoga teacher’s name, we would also get a discount. Perfect. The class ends with a horrible video showing the slaughterhouses and such. I just walked out at this point. No one noticed, as every one was so engrossed seeing the video on a laptop.

This was not the first time I had heard of being vegan was the supreme idea. I remember going to this particular yoga class for the first and the last time many years ago. I did not know anything about the class. Those days, I did not know anything about branded yoga. I wanted to get some trikonasanas and savasana. While waiting for the class to begin, I was given a pamphlet which had pictures of pigs, cows, chickens and other cute animals being tortured. We were asked to start practicing ahimsa and to become a vegan. I don’t know why this forceful idea of yogis being vegans feels like himsa to me. Tofu within me all the time is himsa too. Soy bean feels so dense to me. I do have a strong feeling that the soy board of US funds the yoga studios and teachers. I get it now. Corn is sold to the fast food and cattle industry and Soy is sold to the yogis. Yes, that makes sense. Why else will the teachers sing the praises of one particular food?

It is not just the diet that the instructors discuss. There are blogs written by the instructors. Some of the first few hits on the google is a blog, where the instructor will give such detailed advice on what videos, workshops, retreats, outfits, yoga mats, food habits one needs to have to be a yogi. The videos are always by the company acacia, the outfits are something like earth goddess. Nowhere is it mentioned she is a sales woman representing these companies. The advice is given in such a disguise as if she happened to come by these videos and retreats. And that she is recommending to the blog readers. I find it disgusting.

The instructors when they give this advice, they always mention that it is said in Bhagavad Gita that- what one eats becomes that. Just this quote is cherry picked from the Gita.The first yama in yoga is ahimsa and immediately followed by satya. I do not see how yoga instructors can say they are following the teachings, if satya is not practiced. The only comfort is that not all instructors are like this. I follow teachers who stay away from such quackery. I like my diet choice left to myself, for I do not want to become a soybean. I prefer string beans.

Then I ended up at KYM, where one can find the real explanation to all things Yoga. One of my teachers at KYM mentioned that Surya namaskar is a complete exercise. The namaskars have built in counter poses, forward bends and backward bends, flexions and extensions. When you do the Surya namaskars, you will work out the shoulders, spine, the hip joints, hamstrings, hands, chest, neck, ankles, toes and more. Downward facing dog is similar to an inversion in its benefits. If you just add in a few parivrtta trikonasana (revolved triangle) at the end, you have worked out most of your body. Pranayama is built into this sequence. Of course, it is a prayer to the Sun, who is the sustainer of life to enhance good health. This is a way to take in the radiance of the Sun inside you to energize and begin the day.

In the Vedic times, people used to recite mantras during the hold between an inhale and exhale, which would make the practice very deep. At KYM, I have practiced Surya namaskars having outsourced the mantra recitation to the teacher and it was a very beautiful experience. Namaskar itself is not done in a hurry; every inhale and exhale is long to go with the mantra. Each inhale could be 7 seconds or more in length. Just slowing down and concentrating on the powers of the Sun was a new way to practice.

The gayatri mantra is also a mantra of the Sun, among others. Strangely, Sun is portrayed as a woman. Gayatri, Savitri and Saraswati are the three names of the Sun. The morning sun is Gayatri, Savitri is the noon sun and and Saraswati is the setting sun.

Surya namaskars with or without mantras is a great sequence to practice when there is just 30 minutes of yoga time in a day. I can say for sure, practicing this in the morning is way better, as the body tends to remember for a few hours to breathe slow as you carry on with your daily life.

Actually this is all I possess right now. I do have some more books, a sleeping bag and a suitcase  which I will pick up later from storage. The most expensive thing I have in my life right now is a laptop.

The laptop itself causes a lot of anxiety for me. I get nervous leaving my bag anywhere. I am constantly thinking if someone will break in to the hotel room and steal my laptop. I am quite attached to it and it would be a nightmare to lose it and the data in it. I know if it comes to losing my laptop I will have to make peace with that and be yogic about it.

Traveling this light is quite useful, especially in India. I can take my bag with me right inside the toilet and not worry about leaving it outside. If you have traveled in India, you would know what I mean. And, I could walk long distances and not have to agree with the huge sum that the auto drivers ask for even a short distance. It gives me so much flexibility.

It took a long time to downsize to the things I have right now. Before I left San Francisco, I had to sell or donate everything I had accumulated over the last decade. It feels real good to be so light and I don’t want to add anything more. I can’t remember myself being this light ever. Often times I have felt that this bag I carry is quite heavy to walk long distances in the super hot tropical sun in India. I read in a travel book that even a feather is heavy if you have to carry it for a long time.

I get tempted with books and I did end up buying a few books at Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram. I did not want to buy any of these books, but I would go to the book shop every day and ended up reading most of the books. I liked a lot of books and bought a few of them as I am fascinated with Sri Krishnamacharya. I did make a conscious decision to see if I would be rereading these books. And, I am reading all the books that I purchased.

Nowadays, when I see anything I like, I immediately visualize how it would be after a few months. I end up seeing  the entire life cycle of the object in my brain in a few milliseconds. I can see how it is going to weigh me down. I think this is the vision of clarity, vidya in yogic terms : )

I can see how much time it would take me to clean up all over again. I think it is simpler not to buy much than to spend all that time to lose all the unwanted things. This thinking has helped me not buy  those lovely clothes that I saw at Fabindia ( fabulous shop in India that sells beautiful cotton clothes). when I return to reality and civilization, I only hope I keep this lesson learnt about being light and buying just those things that I really really really need.

I guess this is why I took to backpacking so well. Why possess more than you can carry? Sounds nice while traveling and being enlightened, but I know I will need few more things to be a civilized woman. For now, I am so enjoying being a minimalist.

The first Sutra says Yoga is open to all and there are no restrictions. This got me wondering  as to how open it really was, as Yoga Sutras is written in Sanskrit and if women would practice. Sanskrit was not understood by all as it was a scholarly language. I had assumed that the only religion followed was based on the Vedas and that the so called upper caste was the only one that practiced Yoga. So, I had to read more.

Yoga darshanam(Sutras) is a follower of Sankhya darshanam written by Kapila. Sankhya was rejected subsequently by people, as Sankhya is a godless philosophy, atheistic in the truest sense. So, there must have been a lot of people that did not accept the existence of God for Sankhya to have been written and followed for a while, which is sort of weird for me to imagine India having that many atheists.

Yoga darshanam accepts the existence of God, but Patanjali keeps it optional. You can believe in God to reach Yoga or you don’t have to believe in God. Either way, the state of Yoga is within reach for everyone.

According to one of my teachers, Bhagavad Gita was not yet written at this time. I am not sure about it as another teacher said the other way around. The dates seem very controversial. I would really like it if Yoga Sutras were written first as I like it way better than Bhagavad Gita. A few concepts are common between these two works. If any of you know better, please leave comments as to which one came first and why you think so. Bhagavad Gita must have been written after Sankhya for sure, as it refers to Sankhya.

Also, these few centuries gave us Buddha, Aristotle and Plato. Yoga Sutras are dated about second century BC. I found this reference in the book Yoga and the living tradition of Krishnamacharya by TKV Desikachar and RH Cravens. But again, a different text can a give a very different date.

So, I am not able to tell if women did follow Yoga, if any other religion had a following by then. I am able to gather that there were plenty of atheists. And, that Patanjali was wooing them all, by mentioning that God is optional.

Interesting times!